Bonus Content from the Legendary Taft Diet

Possum, turtle, meat sweats and more

Week after week, day after day, the people chanted one man’s name in my comments: Taft. Despite seeing the extravagant dinner of Herbert Hoover, the insatiable coffee appetite of Teddy Roosevelt, and beef tongue Jello, they wanted more. Much more.

William Taft was a genial, well-liked leader who also ate like he was dealing with the anxieties of the presidency in a time before therapy. I can relate. I did the same thing but instead of rich lobster stew and beautifully cooked steak, it was Cheez-Its and cookie dough and I wasn’t the President, just a repressed 8th grader. Eating like Taft brought me back to those days and beyond, as I knocked back 8,200 calories in a single day, which is three or four normal days of eating for someone my size.

Here is the full list of foods enjoyed on this glorious day:

• 6 cups of coffee

• 3 waffles

• 12oz steak

• bonbons

• berry jelly with whipped cream

• turtle soup

• 4 lamb chops

• salted almonds (many)

• Bermuda potatoes

• lobster stew

• salmon with creme fraiche

• roasted turkey

• potato salad

• green peas

• 8oz steak

• side salad (x 2)

• possum & taters

• four color cream fruit pie

• fruit plate

Yes, I got a case of the 12-hour meat sweats from the FOUR HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-TWO (472) grams of protein. Yes, I spent over $230 on this day (including possum-shipping from Pennsylvania). No, I did not finish everything (one bite of salmon and the second steak). I felt no hunger in between the immense meals, which were approximately 1200 calories, 2400 calories and 4600 calories, respectively. I walked 13,222 steps and worked out in the morning prior to my steak breakfast. I spent 1.75 hours cooking and 4.5 hours eating, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime undertaking, trust me.

I unintentionally fasted for 25 hours after this massive day of eating, feeling hunger only during the 22nd hour and beyond, and in a way I haven’t felt for years. It was a quasi-spiritual experience that following day; the mix of having so much food still in my body but having almost no food in my stomach basically got me high without the use of any illegal substances. A meat high? An achievement high? A hunger high? I don’t know. All I know is that as I walked the streets of Palm Springs with my friend on hour #23 of no food, I spotted a blue Kia Sportage and its sapphire color hit me so hard I couldn’t stop talking about it for 10 minutes.

A Kia.

I’ve thanked them on the videos, but another big thanks to my parents for the possum. If you want to hear the details of how my dad trapped the possum (he is a trapper and primitive bowhunter), I’ll happily talk about that in the comments, but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea I realize — you take the lead there and folks can opt in to reading the comments. My dad also sent out another special meat he hunted himself for an upcoming presidential episode in late summer…wonder if you can guess what it is.

Also, linking here to Harmony Farms in La Crescenta for any Southern California locals in need of squab, turtle, bison, veal and other hard-to-source meats. It’s a great spot, I use it often for CwC.

Lastly, I know anyone who watched the Taft episode was eying up that Four Color Cream Fruit Pie. I’ve been hit up for the recipe multiple times, but I’m holding this one back for a reason. I promise, it’ll be available one day, but it’s not quite ready. Stay hungry for it. And stay fun out there.

-Bennett